Balancing "Being" and "Becoming"

I have this ritual of journaling the night before every birthday, to take stock of my year, my life as it is now, and what I hope to manifest in the coming year. This year being a milestone birthday seemed to warrant additional thought. I’ll share some of my musings with you here:

We spend the first quarter of our lives obsessed with BECOMING; constantly chasing goals or “the next step.” Our childhoods are spent learning all we can about the world, and then our adolescence and early adulthood are all about gaining accolades, credentials and degrees. All this striving and pushing often stems from comparison- I need to be as good/rich/powerful/beautiful as THAT person I admire. You’ve probably heard the quote: “comparison is the thief of joy.” Honey, if that’s not the truest statement ever. How can we ever be deeply happy in a state of chasing and clinging when that damn bar never stops moving?

We get so used to this constant chasing, what happens when we’ve arrived? When we’ve earned the degrees, landed the job, achieved the goal, etc. Then what?

There is so much chasing ingrained in our society, we forget to slow down and simply be. To relish in and enjoy the moment. To simply be in our bodies, in the here and now; not living in the future by worrying and obsessing over what is to come next.

I think this is why yoga and meditation feel so dang good when I actually take the time to do it. The closest I ever come to deep, abiding happiness, and yes, sometimes even bliss, comes from the moments I am fully in the present moment, in my body, plugged into all 5 senses. The more time I spend simply focusing on “being,” accepting everything exactly as it is right now, the happier and more content I feel.

Most of the religions in the world have figured out the bliss inherit in simply “being.” The Buddhists say the root of all human suffering is clinging to our desires, trying to force outcomes, thinking we can control the world around us and then being devastated when we can’t. Only through dissolving the “ego” or “self” through meditation could people experience deep peace and bliss.

The Muslim mystic sufis realized that a state of spiritual “union” could be realized through spinning; spinning first grounds you deep in your body, and then eventually confuses the senses so much that the experience of the body seems to fall away and all that is left is your spirit.

The Taoists posit that if we simply follow Wu Way, essentially “going with the flow,” not “forcing” anything, and honoring our unique nature, we will experience a deeply joyful and easeful life.

Embracing “being, as is” is a BIG shift from the constant striving, and one I am trying to ground deeper into. The funny thing is, It’s usually when I am in a place of deep stillness, following yoga, meditation, or a walk in nature, that I feel most PULLED into a certain direction, propelled into some sort of action. This is a intuitive version of “becoming” that comes from deep, inner wisdom, rather than a comparing ego. Oftentimes I have no idea WHAT i’m doing until I just start doing whatever I’m being drawn to.

This is exactly what happened when I decided to start this little side business, Self-Care Consulting LLC, to help people feel better. It’s not quite right to say I launched this on a “whim,” since in a lot of ways, I feel my whole life has been building up to this. However, I literally woke up one day with the urge to start this, to the point that it didn’t even feel like a choice; it was just something I HAD to do. And honestly, creating this business and developing the self-care courses (launching SO soon) has been one of the most joyful, energizing, affirming and flow-y experiences I’ve ever had. I deeply feel I’m on the right path with this, and am joyfully curious to see where this thing goes and who it will lead me to connect deeply with.

So in summary, I’d like to spend this next decade getting REALLY comfy in my own skin, telling my ego to shut up, and start to follow what feels intuitively right for my life path. I want to BE more present for the little joys and tiny daily miracles, while also continue BECOMING the best version of myself, without too much striving or clinging to any one set outcome. I am looking forward to this next decade of really going with the flow, and helping other people find theirs.

So, my dearest friends (and dearest strangers), thanks for reading, and know my wish for you is that you also find that sweet spot between “being” and “becoming.”

With love,

Allison