The Art of Incremental Change

I’ve always been a naturally ambitious person. It’s hard for me to slow down, sit still, and do anything I feel is “non-productive.” This has caused no small amount of dissatisfaction and self-created unhappiness in my life because I feel like I’m not living up to my own impossible standards. Let’s be real, I’m a pregnant working mom with a toddler— my time is limited. My house is never going to perfectly clean, I’m not going to be able to cook a healthy meal EVERY night, and things will come up that will keep me from my intended workout. And that’s okay. 

I’ve spent a lot of this last year working on my mindset to become gentler and more loving with myself. I am slowly getting more intentional about giving my mind and body rest, without guilt, even when the dishes are piling up in the sink and the list of “projects” I could be working on is ever-growing.

Still, goals are important to keep us from stagnating in our lives. I know if I don’t have some kind of goal to pursue, I get bored. So I set a lot of goals for myself—to keep the house cleaner, workout more consistently, eat healthier, spend more time in prayer/contemplation, work on my business, etc. I strive to be better, but I inevitably never stick to my goals perfectly. Not even close.

But you know what? That’s okay! Perfectionism is the enemy when it comes to being kind to ourselves, and not reaching perfect achievement of our goals does not equal failure. They are GOALS because they are hard to achieve. If they were easy to do, they wouldn’t be your goals, they’d just be your habits. That’s why ANY effort towards your goals counts. Even if you’re only consistent two days a week. That’s 104 times engaging in that habit over a year. That adds up to some serious progress over time. 

Small, incremental changes are the BEST way to create lasting habits that become second nature over time. Our bodies and minds HATE big changes. Homeostasis is the name of the game for us Homo sapiens— we can’t help it, we’re just programmed that way. So the more gentle our habit changes, the more our subconscious will accept the habit as the new norm without feeling threatened by change. If we don’t give up the first time you “fail” or forget, but keep going back again and again, we’ll forge that neuropathway of automatic behavior that will start to remove the need for great willpower or motivation.

Slowly building new habits is really how we create sustainable change that lasts months and years rather than only days or weeks. This is how we truly reach our goals. 

So don’t give up on your New Years resolution just yet, just because you haven’t been perfect about it. Jump back on that horse, again and again. Every tiny step counts. Take another small step today. 

With love,

Allison